Location, Location, Location by Gabriel Gadfly

I could have kissed you
under cherry blossoms,
pale petals drifting down
like the trees wanted to
pretend they could be
snowclouds.


I could have kissed you
in the rain, drenched to
our bones and not even
caring that the skies
opened up above us
and tried to wash us out.


I could have kissed you
in a clearing in the most
secluded woods, with
just the sound of wind
rustling through the leaves
and a few voyeuristic
finches peeping at us.


Instead, I kissed you
in the parking lot of a
Waffle House, just shy
of 2 a.m. in the middle
of a hectic week, with
our waitress grinning
at us from the other
side of the window,
because, honestly,
how could I not?

In honor of the fourth season premiere of Fringe. Which was awesome, by the by.

Y is for Yellowcard

Rough Landing, Holly | Yellowcard

Even though Ocean Avenue is my favorite Yellowcard album, this song is pretty good. And a lot less painful to listen to since it's not connected to certain times, people, or events.

Maybe you'd be kidnapped by pirates...

So there's this guy.

In high school, he adored me. I thought he was awkward and weird, but cool and a good friend. We talked about music, about school, about my stupid on-and-off boyfriend. We sat on the hood of his car, eating pizza between rehearsals, spinning elaborately strange and hilarious stories. I knew he liked me, and I let him. Meanwhile, I continued to date guys who were no good for me. He was chivalrous and sensitive and giving. I was selfish.

And now here we are, three years removed from that world. We have so many of the same interests, so many of the same opinions. Each discussion entails a detailed analysis of whatever show we're watching that week. Or somehow becomes a critique of society. Or some wild scheme blooms, usually involving world domination. We have fun. He is still the same silly, awkward, caring guy from high school, if a little more grown up. I am still selfish, but less so. Amazingly, he still likes me.

I spent some time trying to convince myself that I only like him because he is the only guy who has shown a genuine interest in me as a person for quite a while. But that's not true; I like him for lots of reasons. And best of all, I like him for who he is and not how he makes me feel.

Here's the crappy part: he lives in North Dakota now. I know he's, at least, good for me and, at most, right for me. Which is why I can't bring myself to start this relationship in a long-distance capacity right now. Most long-distance relationships I've seen have failed and failed horribly. Part of me argues that if it is right, it will not happen this way. But do I really want to risk that? Do I really want to take the chance that I will remember the relationship as a complete failure somewhere down the road? No, not really. But seeing as he will probably not live near me for a long time, at what point will I give in and try it? Will giving this a label be a necessity, anyway? We each know how the other feels. Isn't that enough for now? What would it change, besides my Facebook status? I would like to imagine that it won't change much.

(I can just imagine the reaction of all of our high school friends though. That would be fun in itself.)

I don't know I'm doing or what I'm even talking about sometimes.

Relationships are confusing. Even the good ones.

 

I'm not a huge fan of most chick flicks, but I will admit that this is one of my favorite movies. Why do I love it so much, you ask?

I've actually been thinking about that a lot.

I've come to realize that I identify so much with Baby. It's like my life story is condensed into the three weeks Baby spends at Kellerman's. Mostly anyway.

Baby begins the movie as an awkward, innocent girl with desire to and belief that she can save the world. Oh man, that was me in high school. Then she starts experiencing and doing all these new things, getting out of her shell, sucked into a world she doesn't completely understand yet. (Yep, been there too.) Of course, it leaves her feeling powerless, feeling like a disappointment to her parents. (Check.) And in the end, things are still uncertain, but her hope is restored and she's helped someone along the way. (Well, the uncertainty part still applies. The rest? Like I said, uncertain.)

I guess this is why I'm so upset that they're remaking the movie. I'll be disappointed if it's just another remake relying on big names and sex appeal. Don't get me wrong, Dirty Dancing is supposed to be sexy, I mean it's in the title. But I know how these remake things go. I guess the most I can hope for is that someone else will find a connection with the characters and won't feel so alone. Or that it will generate some new interest in the original.

Oh, and I have to say, even though Baby is probably my favorite character, I LOVE Penny. She goes through a lot, but in the end, she comes out smiling. That is truly one of the best parts of the movie for me.

W is for The Wonder Years

This Party Sucks | The Wonder Years

This song pretty much sums up my feelings on the lifestyle a lot of my peers choose to live.

I can't believe I ended up here again,
watching a terrible band play songs I hate in the basement.
I can't believe that I got stuck here again,
while the kid with the dress tells me he's smarter on acid.
I can't believe I'm not running away,
so just say, say, say you'll stay.

Made a Calvin & Hobbes reference earlier so of course I felt the need to post one. :)

V is for the Vitamin String Quartet

Smile Like You Mean It | The Killers

There are a few things that make this song special. First of all, my friend Melissa made me a mix CD one year in high school. On it, she put songs that reminded me of her. Among "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan and "Let Go" by Frou Frou was this song I'd never heard before. I've listened to The Killers' version maybe a thousand times because it's a great song. But here was this beautiful cover. I listened to it maybe twenty times in a row after I got the CD, just so I could memorize each note. Every time I hear it, I can't help but think of Melissa. She's been a great friend, though we've lost touch a bit since high school. I talked to her the other day though, and I realized just how much I miss her and our ridiculous antics. She is the Hobbes to my Calvin, really.
The other thing that makes this song special is just the general feel of it. I put so much stock in lyrics that sometimes I forget that just the feel of a piece can speak to me. This song has always felt soothing and nostalgic. There were many nights in high school (and college too) that I cried myself to sleep for one reason or another. But I could (and can) always play this song and just go to a place of rest. It may not always make me happy, but it will always make me peaceful.
Also, it's played entirely on strings. I love string instruments, specifically violin. They just have the most beautiful sound to me.

U is for The Used

All That I've Got | The Used

Kickin' it high school tonight.

Well, it's a new month. So here's what new in my life:

...

Yeah, a whole lot of nothing.

It's been all work and school and church and nothing. Except The X-Files. Which I am quite enjoying. Oh and I've begun planning my Halloween costume. Hopefully it will turn out as awesome as I've envisioned. Luckily, I've got the help of a friend who can make me a few pieces that I might not be able to afford otherwise. All in all, I'm more excited for Halloween than anything else at the moment.

Except maybe finally getting my coffee pot from my parent's house.