Maybe you'd be kidnapped by pirates...

So there's this guy.

In high school, he adored me. I thought he was awkward and weird, but cool and a good friend. We talked about music, about school, about my stupid on-and-off boyfriend. We sat on the hood of his car, eating pizza between rehearsals, spinning elaborately strange and hilarious stories. I knew he liked me, and I let him. Meanwhile, I continued to date guys who were no good for me. He was chivalrous and sensitive and giving. I was selfish.

And now here we are, three years removed from that world. We have so many of the same interests, so many of the same opinions. Each discussion entails a detailed analysis of whatever show we're watching that week. Or somehow becomes a critique of society. Or some wild scheme blooms, usually involving world domination. We have fun. He is still the same silly, awkward, caring guy from high school, if a little more grown up. I am still selfish, but less so. Amazingly, he still likes me.

I spent some time trying to convince myself that I only like him because he is the only guy who has shown a genuine interest in me as a person for quite a while. But that's not true; I like him for lots of reasons. And best of all, I like him for who he is and not how he makes me feel.

Here's the crappy part: he lives in North Dakota now. I know he's, at least, good for me and, at most, right for me. Which is why I can't bring myself to start this relationship in a long-distance capacity right now. Most long-distance relationships I've seen have failed and failed horribly. Part of me argues that if it is right, it will not happen this way. But do I really want to risk that? Do I really want to take the chance that I will remember the relationship as a complete failure somewhere down the road? No, not really. But seeing as he will probably not live near me for a long time, at what point will I give in and try it? Will giving this a label be a necessity, anyway? We each know how the other feels. Isn't that enough for now? What would it change, besides my Facebook status? I would like to imagine that it won't change much.

(I can just imagine the reaction of all of our high school friends though. That would be fun in itself.)

I don't know I'm doing or what I'm even talking about sometimes.

Relationships are confusing. Even the good ones.